Living Life, Within the Limits of Chronic Illness

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Summer has arrived…

Well here in the UK summer has made an appearance, almost 30C and bright sunshine. Normally this kind of weather helps my symptoms but not this year. In fact it seems to have brought more out, pain levels are still amazingly high, it’s hard to sleep because of the humidity and itchy heat rash. However I am managing to enjoy the weather and get out in the garden most days, lying on a garden bench under the gazebo or on the swing seat in the shade. Hopefully going out to the coast one day this week as well, to get away from the troublesome atmosphere here at home. Also have a fantastic friend visiting so this week will be busy with that and juggling a bit of study when I can whilst hopefully getting enough rest!

It’s not been easy this past week with neighbours having music blaring either indoors, in the garden or both at times! It’s especially difficult when I’m having a bad ME day anyway – which most of last week was. I had a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday which totally wiped me out. Luckily it did provide me with a bit of help in the form of new anti-histamines for my hay fever. However it was definitely hard work – the fluorescent lights were far too bright and sitting up for so long proved very difficult, I almost passed out when leaving the doctors office!! Spent the next few days lying on the sofa not able to do much.

I have started a new knitting project – a Congratulations banner/bunting. Amazingly I am already on the final letter! Although I find knitting larger projects like cardigans impossible it seems knitting smaller letters is quite easy because you don’t have the so much weight on the needles! I’m rather proud of what I’m managing to achieve. Not only that but I got my TMA and CMA results back last week (See my post on my other blog: http://lifewithmedoingadegree.blogspot.co.uk/ ) Which brightened an otherwise pretty rubbish week.

This weekend has been another tough one, heat is wrecking havoc with my blood pressure so I’m having to lie down quite a lot and increase my fluid intake. Also had a lot of stress from the situation at home, being stuck in either the house or garden when you have neighbours like I have makes a tough situation even tougher. I’ll be so glad to get out one day this week just to be able to relax.

One day we will get everything sorted and be able to relax properly in our own home, until that day I guess we’ve just got to make do with the small amount of time we have peace and put up with the rest of it. I fear when that day comes I am going to crash since I’ve spent the last 4 years living on edge waiting for the noise to start and not being able relax properly, on the rare occasion I start to relax the noise starts and I end up stressing again.

I will hopefully update this blog again in the coming weeks, with how the trip out to the coast went and how things are generally! But for now as always feel free to comment below or tweet me @SmilingClare

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TMA04 & CMA43 Results…

Well I got quite a surprise during the week – first I got my CMA back and had managed to score 100% that brightened a bad day with health and other problems that were going on.

And then I got my TMA04 back…I scored 89%!! Which amazed me considering how ill I’d been when writing the report. Definitely put a smile on my face!!

Now I’m working hard on Block 5, slowly but surely making progress. Will post again soon!!

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TMA04 & CMA43 Submitted and other news

I didn’t realise it had been so long since I updated this blog!! Oops! Anyway quite a bit has happened since then, I’ve been beavering away working on Block 4, answering the CMA and writing the TMA.

I really enjoyed Block 4: I love encryption and all the maths behind it. Biometrics turned out to be much more interesting than I first thought it would be and although things have been difficult with my health, making studying hard work I managed to submit TMA04 four days prior to the deadline. Now I’m eagerly waiting it’s returning and hoping I’ve written something which makes sense! I’m also waiting for feedback on CMA43.

In the meantime I’ve moved on to Block 5, although the study calendar says we can have a week’s break during it I’m just going to spread the workload a bit more so I can include more rest breaks and hopefully (fingers crossed) get myself more stable health-wise. Currently I seem to be using all my energy (and more) on studying and assignments, inevitably ending up crashing once an assignment is submitted and sleeping for a good few days. I know this isn’t doing me any good, so I’m hoping that being able to spread the workload out a bit more, including more rest breaks etc. I will be able to break that cycle and get on more of an even keel so to speak.

Still having problems writing and typing, adding to my problems is a chronic (very) sore throat which makes talking difficult, so even using Dragon can be challenging. As a result I’ve been typing/writing instead despite the pain in my hands and the weakness that results. The ganglion cyst on my hand is getting bigger again as a consequence of all the repetitive movements and is making things slightly more difficult.

On a slightly more positive note: it occurred to me the other day that if I pass this current module (T215) then I will have 180 credits towards my honours degree. Meaning I’ll be halfway there!! That in itself is an achievement and something I shall be celebrating when the day comes.

Right now I’m off for another rest, feel free to leave a comment or tweet me @SmilingClare or take a look at my other blog on my life in general: http://www.alifewithinanillness.blogspot.co.uk
I will post again soon, probably once I have my results of the latest assignments!

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So this is how things have been…

Challenging?! Probably the best way to describe things these past few weeks. Had a few rough days and going through another one today.

Anyway I’m still stuck on the crutches around the house and only using the stairs first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Spending most of the day lying on the sofa or sitting propped up with my feet on a foot stool.

Most of my time has been spent studying, getting my latest assignment done and dusted. But today I submitted it for the Friday deadline! All ready to sleep for a bit now but there was music pounding through the house making that impossible so here I am blogging!

Last weekend I got OUT – Major achievement considering everything recently. And yes it’s probably ridiculous that I got so excited about a trip to a supermarket home store, but in my defence I hadn’t been out in the car for weeks! I went round the ground floor of the store in my wheelchair and wearing dark sunglasses, didn’t venture upstairs as I don’t like lifts and couldn’t get up there otherwise! I went a bit mad and bought 3 new tops for my already bulging wardrobe but hey I don’t get out much! And they were in the sale – what girl could resist?

Visited my grandparents on Monday and had lunch there. Not surprisingly I was pretty exhausted most of last week and crashed Thursday night. Not too badly but enough to say I’m going to have to start taking it easy again.

Also had a tearful heart to heart with my Dad and then my Mum on Tuesday about how ill I really am and how little I can do right now. Shared my worries for the future and current ones about studying. It really helped me to get things off my chest and get some reassurance that things will be okay. Whatever happens I’ve got them to help me through.

One friend said to me when I mentioned that I’d been wondering why I put myself through studying: “Easy – you don’t let this illness define you” And I guess they’re right, no matter how tough things get I’m determined this illness isn’t going to stop me. I’ve just got to find that balance between living my life, not letting this illness define me and making sure I get enough rest to improve so I can live a more ‘normal’ life. That in itself is the challenge that faces most people with ME or any chronic illness really.

I’m off to get some of that much needed rest now! As ever feel free to leave a comment or tweet me @smilingclare

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