Living Life, Within the Limits of Chronic Illness

Category: Poems

Poem: Just a Girl who’s Stuck in the House

I’m just the girl who’s stuck in the house
Never seeming to leave to be out and about
The neighbours never see me, when I’m ill in bed
They just see a shadow at the window overhead
Looking out, wishing I could be out there
Knowing that being in bed is all I can bear

This is not how any life should be
It feels like I’ve lost a part of me
One day I’ll find that part again
Once I’ve recovered from this ill pain

I know I’ve gained from being ill
A strength that comes from this bitter pill
For now I’m just the girl who’s stuck in the house
Far too exhausted to do anything else
I’ll make the best of what I have
It’s better than focusing on all I’ve lost.

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So I’ve recently started writing a few poems about life with M.E. which I figured I might as well share with you all. However I’m rubbish at coming up with titles for them so they shall probably remain nameless unless anyone has any suggestions!

Here’s my first one:

I don’t party and I can’t drink,
The noise is too much and all I want is to sleep.
I rarely go out, no cinema trips for me,
It takes too much energy and the light floors me.
Work is impossible and walking hard,
I do what I can but it’s often marred,
By people saying it’s all in my head,
If only they knew what I wished instead.

I manage to study and for that I’m lucky,
I appreciate it but don’t get too plucky.
Phone calls are difficult, email is best,
I can’t lift a kettle and then there’s the rest.
I have to use crutches, a walking stick and more.
A wheelchair, a shower seat or else I’m on the floor.

I study, I eat, I blog and I rest.
I wash, I dress, I sleep; well do my best.
For that’s not always possible, it’s not how it goes.
I just have to live with it, even when I’m low.
I focus on achievements, no matter how small,
And wait for a cure or improvement to call.

For now I must wait, resting a lot,
With my home like a prison but the haven I’ve got,
Social networks a lifeline, like nobody knew,
A place to connect with many like you!
All this is happening at the age of twenty-one,
In the blink of an eye, my youth has all but gone.

©Clare Wood

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