Tag: 2013 Page 8 of 9

I didn’t chicken out! Had a good 2 or 3 inches off my hair and now have a side swept fringe! Unfortunately haven’t really managed to get any pics – one just after the haircut when I was feeling particularly exhausted and it’s not very good quality at all. It’s taken a bit of getting used to but I like it. Really miss my longer hair though, but I can grow it back when I’m better!

I seem to have spent the majority of this week sleeping, eating and studying! Actually Monday I think I slept most of the day! But I did get out last Saturday, went into town in the wheelchair and discovered it’s a much smoother ride if I sit with two Argos catalogues in the chair with me! Apparently it seems to need the weight to balance it properly, in other words I’m too light! Really need to look into buying another one, or asking my gp about it – but I just seem to forget when I go to the doctors!

Anyway I got some new boots! 😀 Might sound like such a little thing to get excited about but I hadn’t been into town since…beginning of January or maybe end of December…and had been ‘buying’ some new boots since November! So this seems like a big achievement! However I haven’t had the chance to wear them since I bought them! But hey ho, that time will come.

This week I’ve had some new, old, symptoms come back – ones I haven’t had for yonks! A sign that things may be worse than I thought. My joints are hyper mobile again, which is causing a fair amount of pain and numerous problems. I’m sensitive to touch – my ribcage in particular cannot stand anything pressing against it so baggy t-shirts has been the order of the day, and lying down or sitting against anything immensely uncomfortable.

Consequently I now feel like the princess in ‘The Princess and the Pea’ – I had two mattress toppers on my bed, one ordinary foam, the other memory foam. Well since I wasn’t able to get comfy even then, I now have a spare duvet on top of those as well!! Which is a little better but I still can’t get that comfortable!

Also have a potentially new symptom (although think I probably have had it before – seem to remember getting the doctor to check it out) Some of my joints, most notably my fingers, feel swollen to me but don’t look it! One of the oddest symptoms I think!

Studying is not going too badly. The current material is all online and I’m finding it a little bit of a struggle. It’s also more advanced than the course, and we don’t need to read it all as most is background information and not relevant to the course. But sifting through it is quite time & energy consuming. Energy I just seem to be lacking right now, I’ll get there though! The worst thing…or maybe best thing…is that I’m finding it really interesting, it’s just quite intense, which isn’t a great combination with M.E.!

I’m trying to make some changes to my lifestyle as well at the moment. I’m currently slightly underweight and want to gain weight. However I’ve started eating healthier as my diet has become appalling over the past few weeks! Healthier but slightly bigger portions is my aim at the moment.

I’m also struggling a bit with pretty much everything – it all seems like such a grind. But I’m sure as I get more sleep, and finish this bit of online material for my course, things will get easier (fingers crossed!)

I’ve also found I’m feeling a bit anxious about things, I don’t know why or how this has come about but it’s there most days at some point. Perhaps I’m just overwhelmed by the situation I’m in at the moment, I mean I had hoped I’d never be back where I am with this illness. Who knows!? I feel like things are out of my control at the moment, but I will control what I can and just go with the rest.

Anyway I feel I’ve rambled on enough for now, apologies for the delay in posting as I’ve said things haven’t been easy this past week and a bit, so this has been a work in progress which I have now deemed fit to be published! I hope I’m right! 😉

 

A lot has happened in the two?! weeks since I last updated this blog. I’ve gotten rid of that infection once and for all, but been left with a bad relapse of the M.E.

I’ve had two 3 hour training sessions on how to use Dragon Naturally Speaking Software each a week apart, the final one yesterday. These have wiped me out but been useful nonetheless. It has had an impact on the amount of time I have been able to spend hitting the books, so to speak, for my course though! However I think I’m just about managing to keep ‘on track’ with the study calendar which is the main thing!

I’ve now been allocated a tutor as well, who is very understanding of M.E. which really helps me – right now it is impossible for me to make it to face-to-face tutorials which I always like to attend if I can. It also means that should things get difficult for me I don’t have to worry too much about asking for help.

As for life generally well, it’s not getting any easier but it’s not getting any harder either thankfully.

Tonight I am braving the chop! (As long as I don’t chicken out that is!!) Our hairdresser is coming to do our regular haircuts, except I’ve decided to have my lovely long locks cut into a bob, just above the shoulders. I love my hair long but unfortunately right now I really cannot manage to wash and brush it that easily, in fact there are days when I am unable to brush it at all!! So the only option has been to have it cut shorter and hopefully it will be easier to manage…we’ll wait and see!

Come this evening I will probably be a nervous wreck particularly when the hairdresser asks that dreaded question before making the first cut: Are you sure?; you see that always makes me wonder if they think I’m making the wrong decision!! But it’s got to happen…

I’ll let you know if I chicken out or not…!!

Plans for this week after ‘the chop’ include resting, sleeping, resting, get a few pics of the new cut and maybe get a bit of study thrown in if I can manage it! That is all.

Yesterday I had the final training session for the Dragon Software. I’ll admit I’m so glad that it’s over, not because it was that bad in fact it was relatively easy! It’s just how much it takes out of me! I spent the week wiped out from the last session!

Surprisingly today so far I feel okish…although I am taking things easy and slow as I know it can take up to 48 hours for the payback to hit me. Oh the joys of Post-Exertional Malaise!

As for studying well I managed to get some done on Monday afternoon and think I am now closer to being ‘on-track’ with the study calendar – not behind!!
I have a tutor who is very understanding of M.E. which makes life so much easier for me as unfortunately unless my health improves significantly as the year progresses, I will be unable to attend the face-to-face tutorials for this course. Which I am pretty disappointed about if I’m honest, as for me although they do help me with studying the materials, understanding things etc. I find they have the bonus of social interaction. Spending most of my time in the same 4 walls can get pretty damn depressing! I can only hope that as the year progresses my health will improve and I will be able to attend some.

Guess from now on it’s just me and the course books! Hopefully this will make things that much easier for me to manage.

Anyway think that’s all that’s happened recently, unless my foggy brain has forgotten something…which is more than possible!

Well this has not been the most positive start to a new module. I’ve had a severe throat infection which has really taken it out of me and made the M.E. that much worse. So despite all plans of making an early start on the module to get ahead in case of having a bad day, picking up a bug or whatever and not having to worry about falling behind, I haven’t been able to do that because until the middle of last week I was under strict orders to rest!

Luckily at the end of last week and very beginning of this week I managed to make a small start (i.e. I read the module guide, Block 1 companion & introduction of Block 1)

Then yesterday I had 3 hours of training – I was awarded Dragon Naturally Speaking Software & a digital voice recorder through Disabled Students Allowance and have two 3 hour training session on how to use them. Fortunately the training is done at my house and is relatively easy going. The only trouble is doing anything for 3 hours straight at the moment is exhausting and for this I have to sit at the dining table, doesn’t sound like much but right now I’m spending most of the day either lying or slouched on the sofa as sitting upright takes more energy!

So today despite planning on getting some studying done, I am forced to rest yet again. Last night I was so exhausted I was shaking/shivering all the time. Today I am a little better although still a bit shaky  And you want to know the best bit? The next training session is next Tuesday – soo I’m guessing I have a repeat of today to look forward to next week!! And the module officially starts on Saturday…this doesn’t look daunting at all!! :/

Since I relapsed in October I knew this was probably going to be difficult, to have had another infection and relapsed again has made it seem that much harder! But hopefully once this training is out of the way I’ll be able to sort myself out and pace myself better.
I’m not ashamed to admit that right now the prospect of doing this module whilst this ill terrifies me, but at the same time I don’t want to give up. This illness has already prevented me from doing so much, I don’t want to let it take this away from me as well!

That’s it for now. Hopefully I’ll have a more positive update next time!