Smiling Clare

Living Life, Within the Limits of Chronic Illness

This wasn’t the plan

Well I had planned this post to be my nominations for the first ME CFS FMS blog awards, but unfortunately I haven’t got the energy to put that post together right now since I’d have to gather quite a few links. I hope to do that in the near future though!
The reason things aren’t going to plan, as those of you who follow me on twitter will know, I’ve come down with shingles. Like anything with M.E. the virus seems to have taken longer to come out and will probably linger longer than it would normally as my immune system tries to get the virus in check.
I’ve had the nerve pain associated with shingles for over two weeks now but the rash has only just started appearing on the right side of my back and side. Boy is that making it feel worse! The skin seems to be getting more sensitive as more spots appear and the itching…words cannot describe how much energy I must be consuming trying not to scratch!
I was putting calamine lotion on to soothe the itching and I may go back to doing so but it’s like a double ended sword (is that the right saying?). The calamine lotion does an amazing job at soothing the burning and itching however because it is so cold it really irritates the nerve causing some of the most horrendous pain I have ever felt. Once it’s on I struggle to stand up because of the pain, I cling onto the walls for support to get myself from bathroom to sofa where I can curl up on my left hand side til it eases off a bit.
Obviously shingles isn’t nice for someone with a healthy immune system, without M.E. but I didn’t know it could make me feel this much worse and have such an impact on my (already low) energy levels. Strangely and I’m sure this will probably sound an alien concept to a lot of people, although shingles brings along some of the ‘same’ symptoms as M.E. including fatigue, it feels different to the usual symptoms I experience even if they are being given the same name.
Due to the pain and itchiness I’m averaging around 5 hours sleep a night if I’m lucky – last night I got 1 and a half hours before just dozing! I’m going round feeling like I’ve been hit by a triple decker bendy bus, or at least this is how I imagine that would feel. Yet I’m still having to do the everyday things and keeping up with studying is proving a challenge in itself but I need to do these things; not because there’s no way around doing them (I’m sure there is) but they act as a distraction from the pain and itching. Rather than sitting here stewing over not scratching, I’m putting the energy (or whatever it is I’m now running on since I’m not sure I have any actual energy left…) into doing something which stops me focusing on the itch.
Anyway this post has been my latest distraction, giving me something else to focus on. Typing seems quite easy today and the words have just flowed. Yesterday was a different matter entirely, so I’m appreciative that I’ve managed so much today.
Before I go, one last tip for anyone out there; healthy or with a chronic illness: try not to get shingles 😉
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B203; Certainly a Challenge!

No one said this course was going to be easy. But this is proving a lot more difficult than I anticipated, with my health causing more problems than I’d hoped too.

So I completed Block 3, Marketing, over the Christmas break and submitted the TMA on time. I rather enjoyed marketing, and the TMA that went with it. Using the feedback I got from my last TMA to improve my answers, I managed to score 81% Amazing improvement on TMA02.

Block 4 has been very interesting but incredibly difficult to keep up with due to illness. But I have just about managed to get my 4th TMA submitted on time. This one has been a real challenge and struggle, if I’m honest. But at least it’s now done…hopefully the mark won’t be too disastrous!

Anyway I am now moving onto Human Resource Management, my weakest area during a previous module. The trouble I find is a lot of the activities are based on real life experience, which having never been employed thus far in my life, I don’t have much if any. So I’m kind of half-dreading it, if I’m honest.

Anyway that’s pretty much all for now, I will update this as and when I’m able. 🙂

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Making it through tough times

Well I can’t believe how fast the year is going already! My posts on here are getting less frequent as I struggle to keep up with my studies, so apologies if any of you miss reading them!

I’ll start from where I left off last time…

I had a lovely Christmas, and managed to pace myself surprisingly well during the week itself. Made some memories which will be forever cherished and got some amazingly thoughtful presents too!

New Year wasn’t as good as I had hoped, I spent the evening lying flat unable to sit up without almost fainting whilst trying to sort out a horrible situation that had come up between myself and others. I got through and  saw in the New Year with a glass of water (having been banned from having the limited amount of alcohol I’m usually allowed!).

January was fairly busy in one sense – studying took up most of my time, especially when I got a nasty cold. I ended up falling behind after having taken 3 days off when I pretty much dozed the entire day! Prior to that I did manage a short walk up the road on crutches with my Mum, it doesn’t sound much but I hadn’t managed it for months! Rather suffered the next day but still it felt like the start of progress!

February arrived fair too soon for my liking, especially since I’d fallen behind on the reading for my course, and I still am behind. But I’m slowly catching up again. Healthwise I’m still worse than I was before the bug and to top it all off my joints have all decided they need to hurt. A Lot. I think that’s partially the weather but also some of it is due to overuse. I’m also still very sleepy, but at the moment that’s coupled with not being able to sleep due to the pain so I’m getting even sleepier!

For the first time in a while I ventured to the supermarket in my wheelchair last week, it was not the most enjoyable experience I’ve had, in fact it was much worse than normal. In the course of going round just the one store I got hit by trolleys at least three times, and not one of those people apologised. I always do my best to keep out of the way too – staying to one side if the aisle is narrow, yet I still got jolted by a few trolleys and it was like I didn’t matter! I could have just been another trolley they’d bumped into! Now that really does get on my nerves and is why I’m growing to hate going out shopping! I have to be constantly aware of where trolleys are and where I’m being pushed because I know if a trolley catches my toe it can jarr my leg and the repercussions can go on for days. Whether people believe because I’m in a wheelchair I don’t have any feeling in my legs (or generally no feelings at all…) I don’t know but it really does irritate me!

Anyway rant over, I need to take a rest before probably heading back to the study books for a bit. I hope everyone is well and I plan on updating my study blog: http://lifewithmedoingadegree.blogspot.co.uk/ very soon! Unfortunately blog posts from now on may well be sporadic as I’m struggling so much but I will do my best to post when I’m able!

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B203 TMA results AND T215 overall results…

Well it’s been a while, this studying malarky is proving difficult with my health playing up and my blogs have been left a little neglected.

So first off B203:

I’m finding the amount of reading really difficult to manage, but I’m just about coping. I’ve requested audio versions of the material alongside my comb bound books in the hope it will make things a little easier for me. My eyes are tiring very easily, getting painful and losing focus. However the course is proving very interesting; Block 3 Marketing more so than Block 2 Operations Management!

I got my first TMA back, with a score of 65%. Pretty pleased with that especially as things have been challenging with my health and managing the workload.

Operations Management was quite interesting, but after a while it soon got a bit boring. Apparently it’s supposed to be though! I submitted my second TMA and received it back quite quickly, with a score of 62%. I had hoped for better but again considering everything that’s rather good. I got some good useful feedback with it as well, so hopefully I’ll be able to improve when it comes to TMA 03!

Right now I’m over halfway through Block 3, and enjoying marketing. I’ve got a two week break over Christmas (which I’ll probably take half of and try catch-up/get ahead) and the third TMA due in, in January.

And now to T215:
I can’t remember the exact date but in November I got my final overall results for T215, my previous module. Having got an Overall Continuous Assessment Score (OCAS) of 93% I wasn’t too worried about the End of Module Assessment (EMA), I was simply aiming to pass. I scored 78% on my EMA, so overall I got a GRADE 2 PASS for T215!! Which I’m chuffed with!

A bit worryingly some components of my EMA were borderline fail, according to the limited feedback I receive. But a pass is a pass! And a grade 2 pass is a high level pass at that!

That’s all for now, Merry Christmas Everyone, I hope you all get a break from studying over the festive period! And 2014 is a happy, healthy year for you!

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