Category: Studying Page 5 of 15

Feeling the Pressure

On 18th May 2015

It’s that time of year again; examinable component time. This year I’m really feeling the pressure, I don’t have an exam but an End of Module Assessment (EMA) although that reduces the pressure a little; I haven’t got to be well enough to complete an exam on a certain day, I’m still finding it difficult.

I think it’s because last year’s module result was lower than I had hoped, if you’re a regular reader you’ll know I only just scraped a pass. At least this year I have had a few months to look at and prepare my EMA which makes up the examinable component of my current module. However similarly to last year, these few months haven’t been without their difficulties, not only has my health declined to the point I’m needing help with basic tasks again, but I’ve also been dealing with the sudden loss of a relative. I have coped better than I did last year, managing to work on my EMA throughout this time, even if it was only little bits at a time. Last year my exam revision plans went to pieces and I seriously considered giving up on my degree altogether. That hasn’t been the case this year.

Yet I still feel a huge amount of pressure on me, all self-inflicted by my perfectionist nature. I know this module result has a big bearing on my overall degree classification, and despite knowing that gaining any class of degree while living with a debilitating illness like M.E. is a major achievement I’m still aiming as high as possible and heaping pressure upon myself. Which in turn causes said illness to cause more debilitating symptoms. But I can’t stop myself.

I’ve accepted getting the highest class of degree is nigh on impossible, and I also know a third class degree with honours is a perfectly possible outcome of what will be seven years hard work. But I also know a 2:2 is achievable. It’ll be tough but it should be possible. And despite my health being a right pain in the…everywhere! I’m still aiming for that.

I’ve still got two modules left to complete after this End of Module Assessment, and they too will have a big influence over my overall degree class. That’s two more years of hard work. Two more years until I complete something I never dreamed I’d be able to. And still I’m beating myself up, making things harder for myself by aiming for a class of degree a healthy person would be proud to achieve. Let alone if they were also dealing with all the symptoms of M.E. that I find myself coping with.

I’m making real progress with my EMA, despite everything that is going on and the pressure I’m heaping on myself. The only thing is I’m not sure I’m writing what they are actually asking for. You know nothing major or anything! I’m hoping that the fact I’ve received good marks for assignments I’ve felt this unsure of in the past is a good omen. But only time will tell.

Anyway with two weeks til deadline day I’m confident there will be a report to submit. Whether it scores highly or not is another matter entirely. All I know is I’ve done my best under some difficult circumstances. That will have to be enough to keep me happy.

Good Luck to any other students going through a similar thing. If you have an exam and want some revision tips you can find my tips from last year here.

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Studying as a Princess!

By Clare

On 29th April 2015

In Studying

So this is slightly off topic but since I shall most probably be working on my End of Module Assessment on the day I thought I might as well blog about this here as well as on my M.E. Blog. On May 12th I’m going to be fundraising for Invest in ME by dressing as a Princess for the day! To say I’m excited about this is an understatement; finding a way to fundraise when you have so little energy is rather difficult, so this is a big thing.

In order to save a bit of energy while writing this post I shall quote my story from my JustGiving page:

As some of you will know I suffer from a chronic illness called M.E a neurological illness that has dramatically changed my life.

This year I am joining The Princesses and M.E, a group of M.E patients and supporters that are hoping to raise awareness of M.E and fundraise for the charities that do such a great job in supporting patients and those close to them. On May 12th, M.E awareness day myself and other sufferers will be dressing as Princesses and hoping for a fairy tale.

Our ultimate fairy tale would be finding a cure for this illness that has locked us away from the world. That would be an absolute dream come true. However to do that we need to raise as much awareness as possible, educating everyone about the true nature of this illness and the disabling nature it can have on the lives of sufferers and those closest to them. There are more than 250,000 diagnosed cases in the UK alone. 250,000 lives that have been altered drastically and 250,000 who are waiting for an effective treatment, better consistency of information from health care professionals worldwide and of course the chance of a cure to come charging our way.

I’ve been overwhelmed by the support and donations I have received so far on my JustGiving page: I reached £50, half my initial target, in under a week! If you’ve been following my progress on the JustGiving page, Facebook or Twitter you’ll know I shared a photo of my homemade, hand knitted tiara when I reached that halfway point.

My hand knitted tiara, complete with blue sequin jewels

I also received a wonderful fundraising pack from the charity I am supporting; Invest in ME. I will proudly be wearing the sash as part of my Princess costume!

My Fundraising pack from Invest in ME

The reason I am fundraising for an M.E charity is because we need research into the cause if we are to ever find an effective treatment and hopefully a cure! I also want to raise as much awareness about M.E. as possible, since it is still a misunderstood illness and the attitudes towards people who suffer from it can be very hurtful. Raising awareness and educating everyone about M.E. can only improve this!

I’ve promised that if I reach my £100 target before May 12th I’ll give you all a sneak peek of my Princess dress! So if you want that sneak preview, and to help me smash my £100 target please text PCJW78 followed by the amount you want to donate (£1, £2, £3, £4, £5 or£10) to 70070 (e.g. PCJW78 £4 to 70070) or head over to my JustGiving page: http://www.justgiving.com/PrincessClare

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A Little Step Backwards

By Clare

On 25th February 2015

In My Open University Journey, Studying

Things had been going really well with my health and studies. Ok so my marks haven’t been their best for this module but I’m on track to pass which is all that matters after all. But these past few weeks have seen my health take a bit of a nosedive.

A virus and dizziness on sitting upright have left me unable to sit at my beloved desk for very long at all. So I’m back to studying on the sofa…for now! I’m determined it’s just a temporary thing, I miss working at my desk more than I ever imagined I would. And relaxing on the sofa after studying there is rather more difficult than I once found it to be; probably because I’ve got used to leaving study behind at the desk. But like I said it is only going to be a temporary solution.

I am going to get myself well enough to work at my desk again. Somehow.

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The Desk

By Clare

On 10th January 2015

In My Open University Journey, Studying

I mentioned last year that I’d got a desk and was hoping I’d be well enough to study at it. The picture I posted back then was of a very clear desk and I said in my post back then that I doubted it would stay that tidy. Well I was right.

My tidy desk back in August 2014

A lot of things have changed since that picture was taken. Not only has the desk got messier but it has had a few additions added to it. I now have a keyboard shelf to give me little more space. Not only that but the monitor has grown in size, there is a box of index cards and a pot of pens all on there! But don’t forget the piles of reading and work always on the go since my current module began! So all in all this desk is often buried under mountains of paper and folders!

During a study session

Before the keyboard shelf was fitted

While working on a TMA

Brian my study buddy after a good tidy up!

The desk has seen a lot of work so far and I’ve not even had it a year! For the most part I have been able to work at it rather than on the sofa. I have to admit I find myself much more productive when studying at the desk but I don’t know if that’s because I’m at the desk or just because I’m not as ill as when I’m studying on the sofa! I still have my days when sitting at the desk is a struggle and some days I’m more inclined to rest then study at the desk, those are ones where I’d probably have forced myself to do a bit of study if I was on the sofa.

Overall having a desk to work at has made a big difference to my study life. Having separate areas to relax and study has had a bigger impact mentally than I thought it would; when I’m in the living room on the sofa now I really do relax, almost all thoughts of study are left at the desk (or for the middle of the night revelations in bed when I realise where I’ve gone wrong with a question!) It has made a massive difference and I hope to keep on studying at the desk for as long as my health allows!

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